I’ve been home for 2 days now, re-adjusting to my normal life in Chicago. I had written several drafts for various posts during my last day in Prague and upon coming back to the States but just hadn’t gotten around to editing and publishing them. So, I’ve decided to combine them all into one final end-of-my-european-vacation blog and call it a “smorgasbord.” The word not only sounds German (it’s Swedish – I looked it up), but it was also one of my favorite words growing up. Can you believe they used to name restaurants (Something) Smorgasbord? Or, maybe that was just a Quad Cities thing. We had a Kimberly Smorgasbord, which was only that much more significant because my best friend growing up was named Kimberly, so we just thought it was cool that she had a restaurant named after her. (She still is named Kimberly, and she still is my best friend, but the restaurant no longer exists. Probably because it was not the cleanest place from what I recall. And restaurant names just shouldn’t contain “smorgasbord” to begin with.)
I digress. Enjoy this smorgasbord of a post.
Water Closets
I heartily dislike European bathrooms for several reasons, which I shall now list.
1. The consistency of the toilet paper and the paper towels is usually the same. And by same, I mean cheap.
2. You have to pay for them. Sometimes. I’m having a difficult time understanding this concept. If it’s the cost of water used, you can bet they’re already saving on that. The bowls are filled with maybe a cup of water, as compared to American toilets, which probably have 2 – 3 gallons worth. (My dad most likely knows the exact figure because that’s the kind of thing he just knows.) And, since they clearly don’t invest in high quality paper products (see point 1), where does the need for a price come in? I don’t get it. Would they rather I went on the street? Oh, but don’t worry – they’ve got that notion covered as well in the form of sidewalk water closets that closely resemble phone booths, and where, yet again, you have to pay to enter and use.
3. The lighting systems in many bathrooms are setup to use motion detectors (possibly another cost-saving mechanism). I don’t know about you, but I don’t really move around a lot when I’m doing the deed(s). Finding yourself in the dark, in the toilet, in Europe is not a pleasant situation. You’re then forced to wave your hands around in the air like you’re flagging down an airplane and hope that the motion detector detects you. Unless someone else has found a better way to beat the system – and then I’d probably use my pee money to pay them to find out.
Observations
So, while I was visiting the various cities and countries, I kept a small tally of thoughts on each one. You could call it my European City Brainstorming Session because that’s pretty much what it looks like. You know, the sessions where you just write down anything and everything that you can think of / say about a particular subject? Well, it ain’t much, but here it is.
Munich: friendliness, bikes
Germany: hanging flower boxes, countryside
Salzburg: funny garden statues
Vienna: cafe culture, food markets, antiques, sturm
Prague: flying buttresses, complicated streets with complicated street names, graffiti
All: converse all-stars, bad dye jobs (hair)
On the Road Again
I wrote the below on my way home from Europe. I had a lovely journey to take – early morning flight from Prague to Frankfurt, a quick connection and luggage exchange, a 10 hour flight from Frankfurt to Dallas, Customs, a quick bite at an American McDonalds, a 3 hour flight to Chicago, a 1/2 hour wait in the cab line at O’Hare, and a 45 minute cab ride back to my home, sweet, home. I had forgotten that I was so smart to schedule the cleaning lady to come the day before I got back. It was nice to come home to an apartment that was cleaner than I would ever be able to get it.
Warning – I think I was a little depressed when I wrote this:
Maybe it’s the 12 hours of flying that I’ve already done (with 3 more to go still yet). Maybe it’s the Xanax haze I find myself in – complete with weighted eyelids and a basic air of nonchalance (don’t judge – I can’t get on an airplane without it). Maybe it’s the obnoxious overpowered women sitting behind me discussing contract negotiation and basically getting off on their ability to be overpowered women. Whatever it is – the depression has started. I want to be back in Vienna, discussing Atlas Shrugged and basic socialism principles at an outdoor cafe sipping coffee and not feeling even the slightest urge to look at my watch.
In America, everyone is always in a rush to get somewhere. In Europe, it’s like they’re already there – work will get done, meals will be enjoyed, conversations between friends will be shared.
Side thought: I love old people with iPhones and gay male flight attendants.
I know I was in a Depression when I wrote this:
I woke up this morning at 4 am. After 20 some odd hours of travelling yesterday and a bedtime of 9 pm, I guess I had it coming. (For those of you not in the know – I work very hard to knock myself out during flights as the turbulence makes me a little crazy. Ok, a lot crazy.)
I knew fighting with my sheets and alarm clock was not going to be a successful endeavor, so I bit the bullet and got my ass out of bed. I worked on my blog a bit (needed to get my Prague entries out there before everyone realizes I’m back in the States and not actually writing from the Czech Republic), ate some breakfast (attempted frying prosciutto like bacon -turned out pretty decent!) and took a long shower. Still, I wasn’t able to get myself out the door before 8:10 for work – just like old times, in which case are only a couple of weeks ago.
I donned a vertically striped button down, some pants with rather large bells at the bottom, and red heels – all designed to take attention away from the increased waistline I managed to bring back from Europe.
As I walked out my door, a few things struck me. Some construction guys were taking their Union break outside the building next to mine. I walked past and noticed they were speaking Polish or some other non-English language. It was comforting to hear. One of the things I loved about my trip was the fact at any one corner at any one point in time, you could hear at least 3 – 4 different languages. George and I had commented how amazing it was that most of these people could probably also speak English. Americans on the other hand – well, let’s just say that not much of an emphasis has been placed on really, and I mean really, learning a foreign language.
Another thing that caught my attention were the new flat screen TVs that were installed at my El stop while I was away. Brilliant, I thought! In Europe, I had marveled at the innovative signs in the train / metro stations that gave you, in minutes, the estimated arrival times of the incoming trains. But, alas, these TVs were for advertisements and train construction announcements only. Sigh.
Random Vacation Notes
European Vacation Soundtrack (in case you wanted to know)
Ra Ra Riot – The Rhumb Line
Wilco – Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, Summerteeth
M. Ward – Transistor Radio, Post-War, End of Amnesia
She & Him – Volume One
Joe Pug – Nation of Heat
Andrew Bird – The Myterious Production of Eggs
Apps and Features I Found Useful on my iPhone (aka Ode to the iPhone aka There’s an App for That)
- iRail – European rail timetables
- Cityscouter guides: Munich, Vienna, Prague – these are great and don’t use up precious data megabytes
- WhiteNoise Lite – because I managed to pick extremely quiet hotels and didn’t have room to pack my industrial fan
- Translator – a must for when I desperately needed to know whether they served eggs for breakfast
- Fring – when sitting alone in a bar, it’s best to look busy. Im-ing friends via this app accomplishes just that
- Weather – does this require an explanation?
- Currency Converter – for realizing that you just paid $50 for a 10 minute cab ride in Prague
- iPod – see Soundtrack notes above
- Camera – so my facebook friends could see what I was eating and drinking along my journey
- Facebook – for making sure I was on the up and up on all of my “friends” who were excited about NFL season, thanking God it was Friday, and wondering why they were still awake at such and such an hour
- Mail – “Mom, I’ll be able to Skype at…”
- WordPress – for whenever I got that oh-so-inspired feeling to document my cynicism
Finish Line?
And that’s all I got. You could say “that’s all she wrote,” which would probably also fit the bill. I came home to an overly stressful next two weeks at work, a clean apartment that I soon made dirty, piles of laundry and lots of artwork that needs to be framed and hung. Home, sweet, home?
So, what’s next? I’ve been pondering about how I can continue this blog – brainstorming ideas for what would actually be interesting enough for me to share with all of you. So far, I’ve come up with: weight loss (like I don’t have enough of that to do post trip), my 30 things to do before I’m 30 list, virtual book club, my foodie dreams and realizations, my attempt to learn how to cook and my ability to retain that knowledge, surviving Chicago winters (a seasonal blog), or maybe a combination of all of these things. Your suggestions are welcomed.
And with that, I’ll leave you with the photo album I finally got around to creating – hopefully the pictures won’t be as distorted as I’ve come to find out they were on this blog.
http://picasaweb.google.com/agstroud/EuropeanVacation
Bon Voyage,
Your Redness